Translator

Sunday, November 25, 2012

The Need of Proofreading

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't  you say?

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.  It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!  They put in a correction the next day.
I just couldn't help but send this along. Too funny.
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya think?
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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
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Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
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Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
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War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
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If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!
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Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
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Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
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Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
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New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
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Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
---------------- ---------------------------------
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
****************************************
Local  High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
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Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
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And the winner is.....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?
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Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle). We all need a good laugh, at least once a day!

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Undue Justice

A couple of years ago I heard of a family’s ordeal and the unjust way it was dealt with which is not only too common in New York, but many other cities where drugs and violence ensues and the local police department looks the other way.

Jay Thompson and his wife Sheila lost their only daughter and never received so much as a condolence from the police officers on the scene, or any other officer or detective later assigned to the case to help solve it.  Kelly Thompson, their only child, was brutally murdered.  The police didn’t give too much of themselves to find out who did it nor did they stick around long enough to ask the questions that will lead them closer to solving Kelly’s murder, and the Thompson’s gave up the hope of getting any results since the cops already made up their minds and her case was just not news worthy enough to even try.

Kelly was a minority woman and in the early stages of independence.  She lived in a bad neighborhood and so therefore not worthy enough for the cops to assist her parents in finding peace.  Attached is the full story of this families ordeal and soon I will add a recap to what has occurred since I began to write the appropriate authorities on behalf of the Thompson’s, this case, and so shall later showcase their responses as soon as received. Please feel free to comment either here or within attached as the Thompson’s and myself will truly appreciate the thought and time.  Thank you.

The Justice we Seek

Poetry: At a Glance

Attached is a link to one of my recently published poems.  Has been a while since I focused on my very first writing passion and hope to continue to write and add a few more soon.
 
As always all thoughts and feedback appreciated.

At a Glance 


~Susan B. Anna

Lifes Sweet Blessings

Now that the first holiday weekend has passed, and Thanksgiving is over once more, it is time to reflect, take in and enjoy all you have shared and most of all time to relax.  Thanksgiving weekend is also a reminder that a certain person I adore and cherish with all my heart is getting a little older and my heart aches in anticipation that soon he will no longer let me consider him my baby.

Eleven years now and I still recall as if it were yesterday when he arrived into my life.  Being a mom is truly rewarding and I enjoy every minute I share with him in laughter, love and most of all joy.  A joy that grows stronger and stronger each day and one I will always cherish throughout my lifetime.

As the dreaded teen years creep in I can’t say I will ever be prepared as no one knows how tough things can get in that particular phase in life, but I will try my best to cope and deal with it as best I can.  Thankfully I have a great support system within my family to assist me when things do get too rough.  In a way I believe my son will continue to remain as sweet and considerate upon becoming a teen as he is right now, but as a parent one must always prepare for changes.

Since I have two full years to enjoy still, I will remain calm for now and only focus on the innocence he still portrays and the smile he so easily displays upon seeing me and vise versa. Truly love being a mom, but soon will be missing the innocent phase.


Susan B. Anna

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving Blessings



As the holiday draws near and the anticipation of being with those we care about are finalized, lets take time to thank and appreciate the time provided.  Some of you may only see each other sporadically and some may have issues with others, but it is a time for love, forgiveness and most of all faith as another year comes close to the end and another possibility was planted to make amends.

Have a wonderful time this Thanksgiving and enjoy every minute of it for what it truly is, a time for sharing, a time of remembrance and a day for togetherness; simply put.

~Susan 

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Writer Quotes

“The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them -- words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a tellar but for want of an understanding ear.”

Stephen King, Different Seasons

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Great American Smokeout




This Thursday, November 15, millions of smokers will mark the American Cancer Society's 37th Great American Smokeout by giving up smoking that day or making a plan to quit. If you want to quit smoking once and for all,  we encourage all  who are serious about wanting to kick the tobacco habit to call an 311 or visit https://a816-nycquits.nyc.gov/pages/how.aspx. A health coach will offer one-on-one support to get you on the road to being smoke free, and the program also provides free nicotine replacement patches or gum. So “Make the Call” today!
 
Since I work during the day for a major health insurance company, staff was encouraged to make today a quit day and new start to staying smoke free.  If you call and sign up with a health coach affiliated with the organization, and stick to remaining smoke free till March 31st, you will be rewarded with a $100 gift card.  Your health is important so why not go for it, the gift card is also a great added incentive.  


Phone: 1-800-227-2345


Monday, November 12, 2012

What to Take to Bed with You

Put your car keys beside  your  bed at night…

Tell your spouse,  your children, your neighbors, your parents, your Dr’s  office, the check-out girl at the market, everyone you  run across.  Put your car keys beside your bed at  night.
If you hear a noise outside your home or  someone trying to get in your house, just press the  panic button for your car.  The alarm will set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either  you turn it off or the car battery dies. 

This tip  came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time  you come home for the night and you start to put your  keys away, think of this:  It’s a security alarm  system that you probably already have and requires no  installation.  Test it.  It will go off from  most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking  until your battery runs down or until you reset it with  the button on the key chain.  It works if you  park in your driveway or garage.   If your car  alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your  house, odds are the burglar/rapist won’t stick around.

After a few seconds all the neighbors will be  looking out their windows to see who is out there and  sure enough the criminal won’t want that.  And  remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in  a parking lot.  The alarm can work the same way  there.  This is   something that should really  be shared with everyone.  Maybe it could save a  life or a sexual abuse crime.

P.S. I  am sending and discussing this with everyone I know because I think it is  fantastic.  Would also be useful for any emergency,  such as a heart attack, where you can’t reach a phone.

Please pass this on even IF you’ve  read it before.. It’s a reminder.

Need Samples


 An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, “I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample.”

 The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: “WHAT?”
“What did he say? What’s he want?”
His wife yells back, “He needs your underwear.”

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Support vs. Envy

To be supportive of another person by providing sympathy and encouragement is not something that comes by lightly to some.  It is truly a pity that many think supporting another can be a disadvantage to them and even more of a pity when said reason is due to envy or possibly resentment.

To have such discontent to another individuals advantages, success and or possessions is such an ugly thing, and even more so when one claims to be of religious faith, but somehow allows the hate and envy to still set in.

As a person who simply enjoys seeing others shine and achieve success I find this lack of support from individuals I am close to unbearable.  I can’t seem to understand how one can want another to not obtain the success they worked so hard to earn.  Success in life does not come easy, it takes perseverance, dedication, long days; late nights and a lot of stress to get there so why not be as supportive as possible.

Therefore, to everyone needing a boost of support I’d like to say.  Great work, congratulations and keep your head up as you continue on the road to success.  Remember to thank those who have been there and lent a helping hand and always stay as humble as possible.

The Story of Athena & Arachne

There was a contest, in which a mortal dared to come in competition with Athena. That mortal was Arachne, a maiden who had attained such skill in the arts of weaving and embroidery that the nymphs themselves would leave their groves and fountains to come and gaze upon her work. It was not only beautiful when it was done, but beautiful also in the doing. 


To watch her, as she took the wool in its rude state and formed it into rolls, or separated it with her fingers and carded it till it looked as light and soft as a cloud, or twirled the spindle with skilful touch, or wove the web, or, after it was woven, adorned it with her needle, one would have said that Athena herself had taught her. But this she denied, and could not bear to be thought a pupil even of a Goddess. “Let Athena try her skill with mine,” said she; “if beaten I will pay the penalty.” Athena heard this and was displeased. She assumed the form of an old woman and went and gave Arachne some friendly advice. “I have had much experience, said she, and I hope you will not despise my counsel. Challenge your fellow-mortals as you will, but do not compete with a Goddess. On the contrary, I advise you to ask her forgiveness for what you have said, and as she is merciful perhaps she will pardon you.” Arachne stopped her spinning and looked at the old dame with anger in her countenance. “Keep your counsel, said she, “for your daughters or handmaids; for my part I know what I say, and I stand to it. I am not afraid of the Goddess; let her try her skill, if she dare venture.” “She comes,” said Athena; and dropping her disguise stood confessed. The nymphs bent low in homage, and all the bystanders paid reverence.

Arachne alone was unterrified. She blushed, indeed; a sudden color dyed her cheek, and then she grew pale. But she stood to her resolve, and with a foolish conceit of her own skill rushed on her fate. Athena forbore no longer nor interposed any further advice. They proceed to the contest. Each takes her station and attaches the web to the beam. Then the slender shuttle is passed in and out among the threads. The reed with its fine teeth strikes the woof into its place and compacts the web. Both work with speed; their skilful hands move rapidly, and the excitement of the contest makes the labor light. Wool of Tyrian dye is contrasted with that of other colors, shaded off into one another so adroitly that the joining deceives the eye. Like the bow, whose long arch tinges the heavens, formed by sunbeams reflected from the shower, in which, where the colors meet they seem as one, but a little distance from the point of contact are wholly different.

Athena wrought on her web the scene of her contest with Poseidon. Twelve of the heavenly powers are represented, Zeus, with august gravity, sitting in the midst. Poseidon, the ruler of the sea, holds his trident, and appears to have just smitten the earth, from which a horse has leaped forth. Athena depicted herself with helmed head, her Aegis covering her breast. Such was the central circle; and in the four corners were represented incidents illustrating the displeasure of the Gods at such presumptuous mortals as had dared to contend with them. These were meant as warnings to her rival to give up the contest before it was too late.

Arachne filled her web with subjects designedly chosen to exhibit the failings and errors of the Gods. One scene represented Leda caressing the swan, under which form Zeus had disguised himself; and another, Danae, in the brazen tower in which her father had imprisoned her, but where the God effected his entrance in the form of a golden shower. Still another depicted Europa deceived by Zeus under the disguise of a bull. Encouraged by the tameness of the animal Europa ventured to mount his back, whereupon Zeus advanced into the sea and swam with her to Crete, You would have thought it was a real bull, so naturally was it wrought, and so natural the water in which it swam. She seemed to look with longing eyes back upon the shore she was leaving, and to call to her companions for help. She appeared to shudder with terror at the sight of the heaving waves, and to draw back her feel, from the water.

Arachne filled her canvas with similar subjects, wonderfully well done, but strongly marking her presumption and impiety. Athena could not forbear to admire, yet felt indignant at the insult. She struck the web with her shuttle and rent it in pieces; she then touched the forehead of Arachne and made her feel her guilt and shame. She could not endure it and went and hanged herself. Athena pitied her as she saw her suspended by a rope. “Live,” she said, “guilty woman! and that you may preserve the memory of this lesson, continue to hang, both you and your descendants, to all future times.”

She sprinkled her with the juices of aconite, and immediately her hair came off, and her nose and ears likewise. Her form shrank up, and her head grew smaller yet; her fingers cleaved to her side and served for legs. All the rest of her is body, out of which she spins her thread, often hanging suspended by it, in the same attitude as when Athena touched her and transformed her into a spider

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Love & Marriage

Check out these simple steps and improve your marriage and or relationship...

 Practicing these small steps will make a world of difference in your relationship with your spouse or partner.


Open Your Heart

Any relationship works only when you open your heart and convey your feelings to the other person. And this is especially necessary in marriage, where the husband and wife are said to be of one flesh and blood. An increased bank balance or a healthy sex life with your spouse loses does not mean much unless you two have a candid relationship. So make it a point to indulge in a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner, at least for half an hour each day. 



Know your spouse/partner

Most of us live married for years without actually knowing our partner. This is because most of us are too full of ourselves to pay attention to others. That’s why, often we fail to recognize our mates properly and miss out little things about them till we come to know about them through some other source or when a third person points out those things. That fills us with guilt and often makes us jealous. But the truth is, you should spend more time with your partner and try to understand him/her more.


Be on Time 

Being punctual is the greatest tip for people of both sexes. Be on time for your date. It’s real bad manners on your part to turn up late and let your date wait anxiously. It makes you seem rude and an insincere person to have a relationship with.

Listening

Try to talk less and listen more. That way, you will discover your spouse’s thoughts and feelings more and more. A recently conducted research shows that the average person listens for only seventeen seconds before interrupting with his/her own ideas. Probably you do it too. But you can improve it. Work to increase your listening span more and more. Practice looking at and paying attention to your spouse when he/she talks to you. Remember, listening begins with seeing and having eye contact with your partner while having a conversation, shows that you are attentive to the words being spoken to you.

Don’t Bicker

A lot of marriages/relationships head to the brink of separation only because of constant bickering among the partners. Do you do so too? Just pause and think, how many times did you tell something to your spouse that you repented upon later and rued that you had better left it unsaid? Ignore the little things, and save the confrontations for the bigger problems. Whenever an argument arises, try to solve it peacefully. Even if you have to raise your voice, never lose temper and never let the thought of separation cross your mind. No marriage is perfect and differences are part of any relationship, be it among friends or family members or spouses. Tolerance, a little patience, understanding your partner’s wishes and respecting his/her opinions are what are required for a smooth marriage life. Be gentle with one another and never go to bed angry with each another. This is harder on the both of you. Keep in mind that no problem is so big that you can’t solve it together. No trouble is worth breaking your marriage over. 


Appreciate

A common habit of most humans is to see only the negative qualities in their spouse and ignore the positive ones. But no relationship can benefit from constant criticizing and nitpicking. Try to appreciate whatever good you find in your partner and do so openly, vocally. Remember, all of us want a little appreciation in our lives.


Talk

Communication is the key to a healthy marriage. Having a great relationship doesn’t mean that things are always perfect. If you have problems, you need to talk about them, and work out a solution that is acceptable to both of you. Make sure that you have an open relationship with your spouse. That way, you will get to know what your partner’s expectations are from you. Once you get to know, do not ignore those. Work on them. The little botherations of today can build up into something so big tomorrow, that you may not be able to solve them ever.


Thank your Partner

Try to thank your partner now and then for everyday things like making a meal, taking out the garbage, cleaning the garage or buying the groceries. Common courtesies help a great deal in any relationship. Whatever duties your partner performs in a relationship, a thank you or a compliment can mean a lot. We all crave for some acknowledgement in life. Tell your spouse at some opportune moment, how much he/ she means to you. Acknowledgement is a great necessity in marriage; it fills the recipient with a sense of belonging and acts as an encouragement. If you’re not used to doing this, you may need some time to really think about what life would be like without your partner. 


Laugh

The couple that laughs together often stays together always. Modern life has resulted in all of us being tensed and worried for some reason or another all the time. Laughter goes on to ease that. Try to make one another laugh everyday! Too much serious talking can leave you both stressed out, making you both grumpy. Joking and having a good laugh every now and then is necessary for a happy married life. 


Share the responsibilities

The birth of a child often intensifies the stress in the household and creates a distance between husband and wife. Men normally tend to distance themselves from the entire situation, leaving the mother to feel alone and burdened with the responsibility of rearing the child. This is a wrong approach, for bringing up a baby requires the sharing of feelings and responsibilities of both parents.

Spend time with each other
 
Take a break and try to spend some time with each other from time to time. This tends to keep the romance alive and provides both partners a welcome relief from the hassles of family life. Even if you have a baby, arrange for a babysitter, and enjoy time as a couple. Go out to dine together, watch a movie or enjoy some game that you both like. Leave aside all worries for some time and enjoy life in the company of each other. You will be surprised at how refreshed you feel and these time offs will give you both a renewed energy and enthusiasm to face life.


Say “I love you!”

I Love You. Just saying these magic words now and then can help you keep the flame of romance burning in your life. Try it often. You will feel a visible difference, not only in your marriage, but in your entire family as well. Remember, happy couples are the foundation for happy families!


Failing to Govern

Since the economy began to fail many of us have learned the unscrupulous ways to which the mishandling of money has made a huge impact on the middle class.  We have been faced with a huge unemployment rate, foreclosures, and price hikes, and our government simply seems to scare us more and more every year.

As a commuter my monthly expenses to travel back and forth to work is $285.  Every year taxes and rate hikes affect me and my family in a big way and we barely make it to pay every bill that comes with owning your own property.  Receiving transit checks pre-tax assisted me a whole lot as I only had to pay a balance of $55 to obtain my monthly tickets.  Imagine my surprise though when I as well as others received this email the last week of December.

“To Transitchek Participants Outside of the New York City Area"

Many of you received an email from the Transit Center regarding the changes to the $230 transit pre-tax benefit cap. The 2011 tax extension bill of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act expired December 2011 and Congress has not extended this pre-tax benefit for 2012. Thus, as part of the government ordinance, the new monthly transit pre-tax benefit cap has been reduced to $125 and the new monthly parking cap is $240.
As a result, the reduction of the Monthly Pretax Transit Cap may affect staff that has more than $125 Transitchek commuter benefits in the following ways:
  1. Your pre-tax transit benefit was automatically reduced to $125.00 for the month of January due to the expiration of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act…”
Since I  didn’t expect any less from our dear government I sat down and wrote a poem that will only tap into one of the many reasons why this government really blows. Many other reasons will soon follow...

 Government Failure

Don’t Mess with Old People

As we get older and visit the doctor more, this could come in handy!!!!!

SNOTTY RECEPTIONIST



 An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist’s desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name.

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, “YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?” All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, ‘NO, I’VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON’T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.’

The room erupted in applause...

DON’T MESS WITH OLD FOLKS.

The Final Journey


Lawrence Anthony, a legend in South Africa and author of 3 books including the
bestseller The Elephant Whisperer, bravely rescued wildlife and rehabilitated
elephants all over the globe from human atrocities, including the courageous
rescue of Baghdad Zoo animals during US invasion in 2003
.
On March 7, 2012 Lawrence Anthony died.
.
He is remembered and missed by his wife, 2 sons, 2 grandsons & numerous
elephants. Two days after his passing, the wild elephants showed up at his home
led by two large matriarchs. Separate wild herds arrived in droves to say goodbye
to their beloved man-friend'.

A total of 31 elephants had patiently walked over 12 miles to get to his
South African House.


Witnessing this spectacle, humans were obviously in awe not only because of the
supreme intelligence and precise timing that these elephants sensed about Lawrence 's
passing, but also because of the profound memory and emotion the beloved animals
evoked in such an organized way: Walking slowly -for days -
Making their way in a solemn one-by-one queue from their habitat to his house.
Lawrence's wife, Francoise, was especially touched, knowing that the elephants
had not been to his house prior to that day for well over 3 years! But yet they
knew where they were going. The elephants obviously wanted to pay their deep
respects, honoring their friend who'd saved their lives - so much respect that 
they stayed for 2 days 2 nights without eating anything..

Then one morning, they left, making their long journey back home...




Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Poetry: ONE

 

One song can spark a moment,
One flower can wake the dream
One tree can start a forest,
One bird can herald spring.
One smile begins a friendship,
One handclasp lifts a soul.
One star can guide a ship at sea,
One word can frame the goal
One vote can change a nation,
One sunbeam lights a room
One candle wipes out darkness,
One laugh will conquer gloom.
One step must start each journey.
One word must start each prayer.
One hope will raise our spirits,
One touch can show you care.
One voice can speak with wisdom,
One heart can know what’s true,
One life can make a difference,
You see, it’s up to you!

Unknown

ATTITUDE



“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.  Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude… I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.  And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.”

~Charles Swindoll~

Monday, November 5, 2012

Only a Man would Attempt this

Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie.  What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized Tazer.  The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety…



WAY TOO COOL!   Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.  I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.  Nothing! I was disappointed.  I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.  AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.  Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it.  She is such a sweet cat, But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately y on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5″ long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, ‘no possible way!’ What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best…

I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, ‘don’t do it dipshit,’ reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn’t hurt all that bad.  I decided to give myself a one second burst just for the heck of it.  I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . . HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . ..  WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . .. . WHAT THE HELL!!!
 
I’m pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again.  I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?  The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to ‘mug’ yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. . . A three second burst would be considered conservative?  IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I’m still looking for my nuts and I’m offering a significant reward for their safe return!

PS… My wife, can’t stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid !!!

DAILY LAUGHTER

Working amongst a high paced and very diverse organization can take a toll on just about anyone, which is why there are days when you need a little laughter to help you cope with the stresses your job may create, and the hassles most co-workers can bring on to piss you off as you try to make a long day go smoothly.


Smiles all Around











The video link below was one of those oh so very much needed laughter remedies one can count on to turn any lousy day around.  Hope you enjoy it as much as I did, lol…


Family Feud (Things People Pass Around) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQRMvg5TAl8

Amazing Survival Story of Hurricane Sandy Victim


Man swept away in a current of water so strong it minutes earlier took his entire kitchen away amazingly survives, and lives to tell his story. 

This story gave me goose bumps, and literally raised the hair in the back of my neck at attention.

Miracles happen every day and this is one for the records. 

Courtesy of Yahoo~ Amazing Story of Survival

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Book Excerpt: To Live & Love Again By: Susan B. Anna


 To Live & Love Again

The following is a few pages to my soon to be published novel “To Live & Love Again.”  I have first started writing this book in 2009 and in between had a few other projects that also helped me grow and appreciate my writing a lot more, so much so that it took me another few years to write both first novel and it’s subsequent series, so very excited about soon seeing it in print and eBook format.

Please note, the pages you are about to read may have been edited but the excerpt will surely give you an insight to what the book is about.  Sudden death, new loves, family and hope.  Enjoy.



To Live & Love Again Excerpt

Poetry: Profit from Failure




The test of a man is the fight he makes,
The grit that he daily shows;
The way he stands on his feet and takes
Fate’s numerous bumps and blows.
A coward can smile when there’s naught to fear,
When nothing his progress bars;
But it takes a man to stand up and cheer
While some other fellow stars.
It isn’t the victory, after all,
But the fight that a brother makes;
The man who, driven against the wall,
Still stands up erect and takes
The blows of fate with his head held high;
Bleeding, and bruised, and pale,
Is the man who’ll win in the by and by,
For he isn’t afraid to fail.
It’s the bumps you get, and the jolts you get,
And the shocks that your courage stands,
The hours of sorrow and vain regret,
The prize that escapes your hands,
That test your mettle and prove your worth;
It isn’t the blows you deal,
But the blows you take on the good old earth,
That show if your stuff is real.
Author Unknown

INTUITION


Many of us get into situations (relations) we at one point would’ve had doubts about, yet circumstances lead us to a different path, blocking out all the doubts, unsureness; and intuition that keep yelling at us to think twice. 

For some reason all of your uncertainties and even the hints don’t lead you astray because somehow you still wanna believe it can go your way.  In other words stupidity steps in and at the moment you only want to say “the heck with it.”

Unfortunately, the outcome is never good.  You are now resentful and regret eats you alive.  You now see the full picture for what it was and you not only feel angry, but betrayed and maybe even hurt.  By now you fully know how idiotic the whole situation was and you now bow to never ever let anyone get the best of you again.

You were played, so what.  Life goes on.  It happens to the best of us, and I for one strongly believe in karma.  Yes, it’s annoying to think you let someone in, to only be a stepping stone, but again life goes on.  His or her lost is someone else’s gain.  This person may have mislead you, but you allowed it to happen so let bygones, be bygones.  Move on and don’t stoop any lower than you already have.
Wanting to tell that person off is understandable, but it is certainly not worth it.


Copyright © 2012~ Susan B. Anna

Poetry: I Resign

Author Unknown

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult.
I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities
of an 8-year-old again.I want to go to McDonald’s and think that it’s a
 four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make
ripples with rocks.I want to think M&Ms are better than money because
you can eat them.

I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple.
When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn’t bother you, because you didn’t know what you didn’t know and you didn’t care.
All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.
I want to believe that anything is possible.
I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.
I want to live simple again.
I don’t want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip,
illness, and loss of loved ones.

I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So…here’s my checkbook and my car keys, my credit cards and all my responsibility.
I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this further, you’ll have to catch me first, ’cause,  “Tag! You’re it.”

Poetry Spotlite~Success




Success
Unknown
Success is speaking words of praise,
In cheering other people’s ways.
In doing just the best you can,
With every task and every plan.
It’s silence when your speech would hurt,
Politeness when your neighbor’s curt.
It’s deafness when the scandal flows,
And sympathy with others’ woes.
It’s loyalty when duty calls,
It’s courage when disaster falls.
It’s patience when the hours are long,
It’s found in laughter and in song.
It’s in the silent time of prayer,
In happiness and in despair.
In all of life and nothing less,
We find the thing we call success.

Satin Sheets Romance Reviews

            

As you may or may not know I have joined a team of exceptional romance book reviewers who have taken book reviews a step further.  These individuals have taught me a great deal already and I am so very blessed to work alongside them.

Satin Sheets Romance, created by Krystal Shannan has sparked a brand new interest in me.  Yes, I have always been an avid reader, but writing book reviews was never truly a part of me until I wrote my first review, before SSR, and then stumbled upon a post Krystal added to a Facebook group asking for writers.

Since then I have dived into this new endeavor happily and will never be disappointed with the friends I have made.  To check out our latest reviews please visit us @ Satin Sheets Romance.  You will not only find wonderful reviews, but will also find out who's books are out there and worth the read.


Review of Always & Forever